My Shopping Addiction & My New Year's Resolutions

Hi hi! Welcome to 2022! 

How was your new year's holiday? We spent a quiet night at home with wine and Netflix. Our original plans got cancelled because our hosts got sick with the virus... I hope you're staying healthy! 

I'm on my laptop so no decome this time, sorry... I'm also going to talk about something a little serious and personal.

I've come to the conclusion that I have a shopping addiction. Not in a cute, meme-y way, but in a serious and starting-to-become-a-problem way. It's been hard for me to admit to myself and even now I feel like I shouldn't be talking about it publicly, but they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. And maybe I can help someone who is in a similar situation.

I noticed my online browsing becoming more and more compulsive and my spending growing more out of control. I didn't have an official evaluation done or anything, but these are some of the red flags that led me to this conclusion:

• I feel like I need to hide my purchases from my loved ones and lie about my financial status and purchase history.
• I've made really big orders when I shouldn't have, sometimes on a whim, and regretted it later.
• I have failed multiple times to cut back on my spending/buying even after telling myself I would
• I don't feel happy or excited unless I have packages coming in the mail.

The unofficial criteria for telling if it's an addiction or not are the following: 

it negatively impacts your life in a significant way, and you can't stop even when you want to.

I think the root of everything stems from that last bullet point: "I don't feel happy or excited unless I am buying something."

Rather than focusing on what I do have, or on nonmaterial things like personal growth, I feel like I've been a zombie all of last year, just browsing online and looking forward to my next purchase. I feel like it's an easy trap to fall into, since I've been working from home for nearly 2 years now and travel and experiences are quite limited. In a world with so much negativity and anxiety, online shopping has been like a band-aid for me. 

Well it's time to rip that band-aid off. My goal for 2022: not to buy anything unnecessary and/or unplanned.

I want to focus on getting my credit card debt paid off, and saving for my near-future wedding (and international move). I want to appreciate what I have and finish the plans I have for the stuff that I do own. I have so many crafting supplies sitting there waiting to be used, or things that I want to film and I just haven't done it yet. 

I've already uninstalled my shopping apps and forbid myself from browsing late at night, when I tend to make the most impulse buys. I started to go through my wardrobe to sell or donate the things I no longer want or need, and take an "inventory" of sorts of what I do have.  

I think that taking a step back from buying will free up so much of my time. I want to focus on non-material pursuits like getting in shape and writing and studying Japanese. There is so much I don't know about, and books that I haven't read yet that I've been meaning to. I want to create things, not just consume!

I also want to focus on quality over quantity. Once I pay off my credit card debt, I want to reward myself with a few really nice things instead of buying a bunch of cheap things on a whim.

The way I currently shop, I buy things I might not have normally bought because they were at such a good price rather than because I actually wanted them. Due to this, I end up getting rid of a lot of stuff (always either donating it or giving it to someone) and my wardrobe is kind of all over the place as well. For someone with so many clothes, it should be more cohesive. Instead, I'll be searching for things I actually want and focus on leveling up my wardrobe. 

So every month I'll update you on how my pursuits are going!

This doesn't mean I'm going to disappear from blogging or from gal, not at all. I'll just be focusing on things I already have, past magazine scans, and more. There is so much I haven't shared and I think that taking a huge step back from buying things will allow me to share it with you! 

Sorry that things got so personal this time, I was debating even posting this but I think it's a necessary step for my "healing". I look forward to what the new year brings- I feel like great things are in store and I'm excited to become a better version of myself. What are your resolutions for the coming year? 

Talk to you again soon!

SamiiChu